Before anything else, know this: You need to accept change, all change. Now.
Change is the only constant.
One of my professors always used to say: “No one likes change, you can think that you like it, but you really don’t.” I never agreed with him, and always kind of felt annoyed by his assumptions. And frankly, I still disagree.
Some people thrive when there’s change. Others panic.
But today I say this, change your life, because it’s only in changing that you can truly grow and improve. You know what’s the best part about changes? You can make them.
For the past decade I’ve changed my career a few times, moved to different towns and cities, friends came and went, and so did lovers. I was struggling to find that sweet spot in life where I felt I was on course to my version of success. I did some serious introspection and found that I needed to make some changes within myself. Because no matter how many times you change your job or home address, if you’re not ready to improve yourself first, it won’t mean anything.
1.Be honest with yourself
Know what your weaknesses are, know your blindspots and know what you’re doing wrong. Know that you are responsible for the life you are living – or not living for that matter
2. Get fed up!
One evening I was sitting on the couch watching Netflix, eating fast food and feeling depressed and I looked around me and thought: “I don’t want to be like this anymore!!”
I admitted to myself that I had to make a change. And I had to do it quickly.
3. Find something you’re good at, and become great at it
It doesn’t have to translate directly to your career, but find that something you’re good at it. For me it was art, I started painting again, sketching again and being creative. It gives you a sense of purpose and boosts your self worth. Whether it is baking, singing or even numbers – find it, improve it.
4. Take action
Just. Do. Something.
So many people know exactly what it is they need to do, but they don’t do it. It comes down to the same thing each time: You’re lazy – it’s comfortable to be miserable. You know it well, it’s a space you’ve spent a lot of time in, so it’s just easier to stay there. It’s uncomfortable and disruptive to face your weaknesses and take yourself out of a bad space.
My dad has always said: “A good decision today is better than an excellent decision tomorrow.”
5. Complain less
Take accountability for where you are in your life, realise the role you had to play to get to where you are, and the role you need to play to get yourself out of it. And don’t complain about it. When you complain it is like you are having a conversation with yourself and telling yourself how bad your life is, and how negative you are. You wouldn’t want to say that to a friend of yours, so why say it to yourself? Stay positive, keep your head down, and make the changes.
In the past few months I’ve honestly had the realisation how much control we really have over the life we live. And whenever I feel overwhelmed I think of the mountains on the Du Toits Kloof pass, how big and magnificent they are, or the vast ocean when I walk the promenade – and it puts my life in perspective. I’m so small, just one human on this big Earth of ours, so my problems and my turmoils can’t be unmanageable now can it?