A friend and I were talking this past weekend about everything that happened in 2019. We spent the last New Year’s together and we were all so determined to make 2019 a year of growth, achievements, and blessings.
But wow, 2019 really threw everything at us. For example, my husband and I bought a new car recently, it was really a big step for us, and we absolutely love our car, then, 2 months ago a reckless woman was driving on the wrong side of the road to skip the queuing traffic, and when she saw oncoming traffic approaching she swerved into the side of our car. Our new car. I was devastated, I felt like I didn’t even want the car anymore.
It took 2 months for insurance to sort it out, all the while I had to drive Avis cars and struggle to get everything sorted out.
On top of that I had challenges at work, so much so that I wasn’t sure if I was even in the right industry anymore. Along with those challenges my dog had to go for an operation, our marriage had some strain and my grandfather passed away.
I felt sick. 2019 really felt like when you’re swimming in the shallow waves and suddenly all the waves roll over you and you feel like you might drown.
I looked back at 2019 and felt defeated. How could so much go wrong in one year. How could I lose a family member, and while I’m still dealing with that so much other things start piling up?
I wasn’t exercising, I wasn’t eating, I wasn’t focused. Everything was suffering. My job, my marriage, my friendships.
Then, one afternoon I got home from work, immediately ran a bath and got in, I slid down so my ears and eyes were covered by the water, and I could hear my heart beat. A moment of silence where I truly felt alone for the first time. (Nothing a good cry session in the bath can’t cure!)
There, alone in the bath, feeling sorry for myself, it dawned on me:
Someone drove into car, BUT I’m lucky enough to have a car, a car I really wanted. My grandfather passed away, BUT I reconnected with family at the funeral that I hadn’t seen in years. My marriage was under stress, BUT we’ve never been this honest and close before. I lost some friends, BUT I also really saw who my true friends were. My dog went for an operation, BUT he recovered and is doing really great. I had challenges at work, BUT I had a constructive workshop with my director and my career is pushing forward. My friends went through a difficult time, BUT it brought us closer together.
In every little thing we do and every little thing we go through, there will most definitely be a silver lining to it. We shouldn’t make a few bad experiences out as us having a bad life. 2019 was rough, and it seems like it was rough on everyone. But on New Year’s Eve last year, we were sure there would be growth for us, and there was, we expected there to be achievements, and there was, we hoped for blessings, and we got it. Amidst all the bad things.
So 2019 was like a tsunami, but there was a lot of sunshine and rainbows in between. It’s a bad day, not a bad life. “Breaking and rebuilding happens simultaneously. So when you are crumbling and think the world is crashing down, remember it’s from the bottom we rise again.”