Decisions, decisions

Time to own everything.

What an age we live in. People are easily offended, surprise. Meaning that this way of thinking also boils over to the fact that you basically can’t be happy because of your happiness. You’re not ‘allowed’ to give yourself the credit for being happy.

We have all had these conversations:

“Wow, you look so well rested! What’s your secret?”
“I make sure I get eight hours of sleep a night.”
“You’re so lucky! Oh, to be young and have no kids/a remote job/free time.”
Just once, I’d like to reply, “Yeah, it’s awesome!”

For some reason we’re not supposed to be happy about being happy in these modern times. To be happy about our own happiness (or even just about things working out) implies that we look down on the other saps that didn’t make the same decisions.

We are somehow expected to externalise the things that makes happy. Saying things like: “I am blessed/lucky.”

Yes, I agree that many of us are blessed, blessed to grow up in a steady home, where we were loved by our parents etc etc. But where you are now, right now, is also mostly due to the decisions you have made up to this point. And you deserve to give yourself credit for that.

Why would you write your happiness off to one thing like luck? When you have worked really hard and made numerous decisions to make yourself happy.

Yes, you could be blessed or lucky to have a good loving partner. But you still chose to try and be a good person and to not fuck things up. So having a lasting relationship with your partner has a whole lot to do with the decisions you make too.

If you’re in a great place in your life at the moment, thank the Man up there for guiding you and blessing you, but also look back at the decisions you have made to get here.

This can swing both ways. If you’re unhappy or depressed, again, I agree that sometimes people are just unlucky. But more often than not, their depression is also linked to decisions they have made in the past, or currently making. Staying in an emotionally abusive relationship, hating your job, hanging with the wrong crowd. You can decide, at any point, tha you want to make a change. And simply making that decision will already bring you another step closer to being happier.

Decisions help us cope with a random universe. No one has any interest in our own happiness except us, at least not as much.

Stop pretending that the credit belongs to anyone but you.

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