Taking Control

Getting married is a wonderful thing and I have literally never been as happy as I am now. My husband and I have grown stronger every day and we are more in love than ever.

But that does not mean we have to lose our individuality. It is common in marriage and relationships for (especially) women to adopt the lifestyle of their partners and to serve the men in their lives. In the process we cut back on girl time, hobbies, passions and even our careers.

When 2018 was sprinting towards its end I started thinking about my new years resolutions. Was I going to have any this year? Did I achieve any of my goals from 2018? What was my resolutions going to be? 2018 flew by and it was probably one of the best years we ever had. We bought a house, both changed jobs and are working for amazing companies, we are thriving spiritually, mentally and financially. All and all it was a success.

So what exactly could 2019 have in store for me? This year, I am taking control of my life, and I want to challenge you to do the same. I am joining an art group for meet-ups, meeting with old friends, cycling more, reading more. I am taking bubble baths, girl-only trips and even taking cooking lessons.

Here’s an example. One of the most cliche things we see almost everyday. Ever notice how someone becomes more active on social media after a break-up? Suddenly gymming, posting pictures with friends, perhaps even taking a trip somewhere? Then, when you ask someone that’s in a relationship why they aren’t doing those things, they’ll likely all give the same answer: “I do not have the time”. So naturally people tend to gain weight in relationships, seclude themselves from friend circles and mostly spend their time at home on the weekends.

I am lucky to have partner that encourages me everyday to do what I want to do and helps me to break out of the routine. Women tend to be so obsessed with being a wife and a home builder that we lose sight of our individuality. It is no ones fault but our own.

So 2019, you will be my year where I will learn to balance being the wife my husband deserves, a submissive, loving, patient wife. As well as being a fulfilled individual that improves mentally, physically and spiritually. Some one once told me that they try to fulfill a weekly goal of doing something for themselves (at least once a week) that fulfills them mentally, spiritually and physically. So for example, you’ll go the gym to fulfill physically, you will read or do an online course to fulfill mentally and you will meditate to fulfill spiritually. All of us most certainly have the time to do each of those things for at least half an hour each per week.

For years I have considered my weekdays occupied by work only. I didn’t make plans with friends in weekdays because I considered it my work days. Sundays are my stay-at-home days and so I didn’t make plans then either
It left me with Saturdays. Just Saturdays. So I was constantly feeling overwhelmed and stressed because I felt like I was just working all the time. It is so important for us as women to realise the importance our mindset has on our happiness. We need to meet friends for drinks on weekdays. We need to spoil ourselves more and we need to reach out more. No more hibernating.

The world is your oyster. Live large and live fully and do not get so consumed in adulting that you forget to live.

This will be the year I will take control of my time, my thoughts, my happiness.

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