Wow, I honestly didn’t think that 25 would come this quickly, but here it is. And what a journey it has been so far. I can’t quite believe that I’m a quarter of a century old, and it’s making me a little nostalgic to think back on my life so far.When I was 18 I looked into my future speculating what it would be like and to my surprise, it is nothing like I imagined. I surely thought I would be earning those mega bucks (a.k.a Millions) by now, but surprise!
From finishing school, attending and graduating undergrad, getting my first REAL job, starting a business, starting a blog, and getting married, so many great things have happened in such a relatively short time frame – 25 years. Bad things happened too, rejection, breakups and internal struggles.
Nonetheless, despite the lack of ticks on my long term to-do list I created at 18, I did learn a lot. SO here’s 25 things I learned at 25.
- Love hurts – but is totally worth it
- Change is necessary. It sucks and I hate it, but it is so necessary. When there’s change, good things happen, or it – at least – gives life an opportunity for something good to grow from it.
- Dry Shampoo is your friend.
- No one has their shit together. Even the goodie-two-shoes at work with the nice nails and neat desk, also unravels sometimes – she also skips laundry day every once in a while. People choose what they want to show the world, it doesn’t mean that that is all there is to see. Everyone is surviving without a handbook on how to do this.
- Your happiness depends on you. Cliche, I know. But it’s true. For the longest time I expected my husband to make me happy, but I realised that I had to make myself happy first and only then can I contribute to the relationship as I should. You are an individual and so is your partner, you are responsible for you, and the two of you chose a life together with no conditions, and this includes conditional happiness, it is not their responsibility.
- ‘Society’ is man made. Do whatever the fuck you want, there is legitimately no one that can stop you (don’t break the law though – there’s a difference).
- Someone out there hates you. I no longer aim to please, I am who I am, and I do not need approval from anyone for it. If you like yourself, do not change a thing, there will always be someone that doesn’t like you, so why keep trying? You spend the most time with you, so best you like yourself.
- Chicken Nuggets are from heaven (especially with Mcds Jalapeño sauce)
- Have courage and be kind (reread that, consume it, understand it)
- Giving is a lot more fun than receiving
- You’re allowed to change. Reinvent yourself everyday if you want. You’re a human-being, not a brick wall, you are a creation that can change, grow, improve, progress and indulge. No one should ever say: “You’ve changed” like it’s a bad thing, because it’s not.
- There’s more than one way to do something
- You’ll never ‘arrive’ – once you reach your set goals, you’ll have new ones, isn’t that exciting?!
- You need friends – this is especially important for people in relationships. We tend to isolate ourselves, spending all our time with our partner, it is super important to have friends – friends that isn’t friends with your partner either.
- Everybody you meet knows something you don’t – learn from them and give them the opportunity to teach.
- Saving money is super duper important, when your earnings increase, try to not increase your life standard, put that money away, you were okay without it before so save it up and thank yourself later. You should try to save at least a third of your earnings. It’s tough at first, but once you achieve it, it is one of the most rewarding feelings in the world!
- Have 2 savings accounts: an emergency fund (we cap it at R 10 000) and a no-touchie account for long term savings such as a deposit on a house – there should always be more money in this account than the emergency one.
- Be adaptable – especially in the workplace
- You need to have an active hobby, one that stimulates your body and soul, for me it’s CrossFit, for a friend of mine it’s boxing, for another it’s yoga.
- When you obsess over something, be-it a gym program, a diet or a even a belief, try to disprove yourself first. That way, you can be sure you’re on the right track, and when someone tries to tell you you are wrong, you already know what they’re going to say and you already thought about it.
- 21st birthdays are overrated, because I never had a pivotal moment of adulthood, it never comes, you just continue surviving – I still have the same mind and body from then, I only know a little more, there’s no big moment of transitioning into adulthood.
- Life is short, but it is also really long, so fuck YOLO, you need to think about your future and your old age – live a healthy life and plan for retirement, it WILL come around.
- Cherish your parents, they will get older and they are unbelievably wise. Learn from them, they know what they’re talking about. Spend as much time with them as you can and if you have kids, give them the opportunity to spend as much time with their grandparents as possible.
- Nothing changes when you get married – your partner is still the same person as before. So never ever think things will change when you get married. Whatever exists in your relationship before, will intensify once you’re married. So if you’re happy, you’ll be more happy, if you’re unhappy, it will only get worse.
- The best is yet to come – contentment over happiness
Live your life how you want to, it is yours, it is the only thing you have 100% control over so do not let anyone else influence you to compromise. Relationships are the biggest influence in our lives, so manage it, communicate openly, and if you’re too afraid to tell someone what you’re really thinking or feeling, you’re in a bad spot, and you need to either fix it, or get the hell out of it. But no other individual is worth you compromising your life into a space of unhappiness. And this includes your boss, colleagues, friends, parents and lovers. Realise that your life is YOURS.