Note: Heads-up that this is pretty much a diary entry with a whole lot of talk about myself.
Wow. And just like that 2017 has come to end. What a year.
I barely had time to blog and though I desperately tried to juggle it all, I have failed tremendously. Failed, such a big word for 2017 – for me at least. One of my friends recently asked me how I would rate 2017 compared to 2016. And though it was a tough year I will still rate it an eight compared to 2016’s four (I’m surely not the only one that utterly hated the entire 16?) 2017 had a number of challenges, but with them came so many blessings, including a balanced work-life, new friends, a steady income, and (still) a blessed marriage.
Though no one has asked for a justification for this year, I am giving one, for two reasons: To clear my mind from everything that happened this year, and to open a new door for my blog so it can continue and not just die an insignificant death.
So let’s talk about what was: 2017
I feel as though everyone I know kind of go through the same things in a year, but in different ways. A lot of people made use of the time in this year to build a life – however that might be. Be it a new career, getting engaged or married, bought their first house or moved in together, but in some way or another we made steady big decisions to build a life. Laying foundations to the lives we so dearly want.
For me, it meant making a big, difficult decision:
Letting go of Tweek.
Though a successful business with around 15 employees and wonderful, exciting projects – I decided to let it go. The stress of owning a business and the isolation paired with it, was not worth it for me.
For a long time I felt like I had failed, and it took me quite some time to come to terms with it and to realise that I did not fail. All too often we tend to see adventures we endeavour on and end – as a failure, but it’s never a failure if there’s something you can learn from it. And boy, did I learn.
I learnt to be patient, I learnt professionalism, I learnt about failure, pressure, ownership, fear and anxiety. I learnt about care, giving, mahala and working with money. I learnt to let go, to be honest with myself about what I did and didn’t want. And Tweek was not what I wanted. I realised it was time to let go.
So earlier this year I started working as a Digital Project Manager at an amazing company, which is pretty much exactly what I did at Tweek, but I am now doing it for someone else, not myself. And it’s amazing. I have the opportunity to tap into the things I loved doing as a business owner, without the stress of a business owner. Amazing right? I do not see this as taking a step back, and anyone else letting go of an entrepreneurial endeavour should see it the same way. You tried, you succeeded, you decided to do something else. As my mother always says: “What’s the use of a mind if you can’t change it?” It’s difficult to let go of something you dedicated yourself to. Letting go of my blood, sweat and tears was hard. I had my fair share of self-doubt, fear and just plain crying.
So what is?
Paired with a new job consuming 14 hours a day of my life, I had little time for anything else, this included blogging, friending and exercising. I gained a lot of weight, lost a lot of friends and lost sight of what I liked. But what is? – a new home in Bloubergstrand, an amazing, challenging job, a marriage I learn from everyday that brings me so much joy. New friends that make me laugh and make me feel like I matter, and most of all – vision. A vision for what I want and don’t want. A vision of a career driven wife. It’s so important for us to focus on the What is. We hold on to the past and focus so much on the future that we miss the present. We miss where we are. We need to see where we are, how far we have come and how lucky we are to be right here, where you are at this moment. Because no matter what, there is something you can be grateful for in this moment. Cultivate a mind that is always grateful, live a life that makes you feel good and thankful for the people and the opportunities in your life. Focus on the what is and only then will you truly know what is to come.
And that, finally, brings me to what is to come.
What lays ahead for 2018? Those new years resolutions.
Only you know what you want and what you are working for. For me, 2018 will be the ultimate growth year, to build on my career, invest in property, live a healthier life and pet more dogs. I want to invest more in assets as well as myself. I want to do more, live more, be more. I want to study again, focus on getting my honors degree. I want to feel good about myself again. I’ve never been this ready for a new year as I am now. How about you?
Share your plans in the comments below. I would love to hear them. Remember 365 new days, 365 new chances. 2018 is yours, what will you do with it?