Being married is amazing, and though there are certain challenges, it’s the most rewarding part of my life. Women know exactly what they want from their husband, like if he could look like Ian Somerhalder that’d be great, but that’s not necessarily what we NEED to have a great marriage, because if you marry him you probably think he’ll kick Ian’s ass anyway, I know I do. But marriage is a two-way street, and we can’t always just take from the relationship, we need to plow back as well. So here are a few thing that he wants most in a wife.
A best friend
You’re the person he spends most of his time with, he lives with you, so it’s important to not act like his new mother, even though you might feel like it sometimes. So when he scratches his… bum, don’t judge them, okey maybe a little, but love them, and learn to laugh with them. He didn’t marry you to just help pay bills, he shares his life with you, so make it worth his while.
I don’t just love my husband, I really, really like him. So I enjoy spending time with him. When he leaves for work in the morning I’ll text him saying I already miss him, not because I’m needy, but because I love to spend time with him. When he goes to the grocery store, I’ll go with him, because he’s my best friend, and I’m his. (Shan, if you’re reading this, I am your bestie riiiight??)
Live in every moment with your husband. Being an adult can take its toll, so remember to chill, and accept him, and make life a little more fun for him too.
Though I’ll sometimes wave a R10 at my husband and catcall him like his a male stripper when he takes off his shirt, I’m actually referring to being a cheerleader in life too. A man carries a lot of responsibility that we sometimes aren’t even aware of. My husband is fully aware of how stressed out I can get about stuff, so he sometimes handles it without telling me, and only tells me after it’s been sorted. So he deals with a lot, and he also knows that it’s his responsibility to keep our family safe. So sometimes he’ll need you to be there to encourage him to keep going.
He might have had a rough and long day at work, and the last thing he wants is a nagging wife when he gets home. So when he comes home, even if you’ve been working all day too, make him a cup of coffee, his favourite meal, and just sit with him. Talk to him about his day and encourage him. Remind him of how awesome he is, because he is! You wouldn’t have settled for anything less than awesome anyway.
This doesn’t mean that you should blindly support him though. If he messes up big time, you should be there to give him the harsh, brutal truth, and this brings me to my next point.
Men love comfort, and the more you do for them, the more they’ll slot into that comfort zone. Men often take shortcuts and then they only do what’s needed. But this doesn’t mean you should be a nagging wife pointing to every sock on the floor, dirty towel or off mood. What it does mean however, is that sometimes your husband might be having an off day, where he is irritable and annoyed. It’s your job to point it out and encourage him, because you know he can do better.
This has happened, where my husband was offish (is that a word?) and the moment I spoke to him about it, and pointed it out, he was better. It’s like he didn’t realise he was in a bad mood, and when he did, he was just over it. Guide your husband, in a firm but supportive way. Always make sure that you and your significant other are on the same page regarding expectations.
A parter in crime
Be his copilot. He will lead you, and guide you, but you can’t sit back and relax. No Ma’am! If your husband has a plan that you know won’t work, speak up! Respect your husband always, and let him lead, but assist and support him. As a wife you should sometimes keep quiet, but never at the cost of you or your husband’s well-being. You’ve also got skills and experiences that are too helpful to keep to yourself, so share them with him, and execute them together.
For example, I need my husband to help me to not freak out about money, but he needs me to keep all the loose ends together at home, because I’m good at it. We fill the gaps for each other, and that’s where you come in.
A lover (winky face – did I just make it awkward?)
Okey, let’s talk about your sexuality or sex or hanky-panky or whatever you call it. It’s a fact that men need passion and sex more than women (chemically). But it’s also a fact that women enjoy sex just as much as men do (Side note: if you don’t, you need to communicate that to him, you are just as deserving of a happy ending than he is). But for us women it’s often a take it or leave it situation. So we can go without it or not, without it impacting us significantly.
So ladies, it’s important to initiate sex first in your relationship every once in a while. Because just as much as you want to feel needed in the relationship, he wants it too. So make him feel that way by making the first move. Whether it’s new undies or mentally scheduling it in your mind, you have to make time for it.
My husband and I talk openly about our sexuality, and what we want and need to get out of it. This has simplified things for us leaving both of us satisfied and happy in every aspect of our sexual relationship. Just as much as you can live without it, they can’t, and once you respect and realise it, you too will start to need it more in the relationship creating a balanced level of need for consensual sex.
Face it, we need our husbands to mentally, physically and spiritually guide and love us, but they need us too, and we tend to become bossy dictators creating a life where we expect them to accept us, but continuously point out to them what they need to change. So take the time to consider what they need from us, and what they want from us. I’m crazy in love with my man, and I feel so lucky to be his, but I want him to feel the same way always, and the best way I know to do that, is to follow these things.