Before I got married I had no idea what I was supposed to do to organize a wedding, so instead of being a stressed out bride, I had the amazing people at the venue I got married at (Gelukkie Paternoster) to organize everything. I gave them a guideline of things we didn’t like and the rest was up to them (they did a great job! Everything was PERFECT.).
But a few days before my wedding I started to stress, because I hadn’t done anything. I only chose a venue and a dress, and purchased my husband’s wedding ring. And that was all.
So I frantically Googled: “What a bride should do days before the wedding” and many other related topics. Needless to say, it was useless advice that didn’t mean anything to me.
So I am going to attempt to write a few pointers here that I wish I knew before hand, and a few things I’m glad I did and didn’t do before my wedding. Things i wanted every bride to be to know.
Your wedding day isn’t the biggest day of your life
You’ll see, it’s not. The biggest day of my life so far, was the next morning, when all the guests was gone, and my new and amazing husband still laid silently, fast asleep next to me, with a ring on his finger. The biggest day was when he blow-dried my hair for me while I sat sobbing because I didn’t want my puppy to get old. My biggest day is when my husband brought me tea and medicine when I was ill, and so the biggest and most important day of your life is the day after your wedding, and every day that follows after that.
Trust your gut
I knew exactly what dress I wanted before we went dress shopping. I knew I wanted a vintage, off-white, long sleeved dress, with a narrow bottom and buttons on the back. And then we arrived at the dress shop and everything was so beautiful, I was confused and overwhelmed! I tried 2 dresses on, and the third dress was the one I chose, exactly to my preset requirements. Don’t get caught up in the magic of the dresses, you know what you like. And don’t let anyone else influence your decision (except maybe your husband a little.)
Don’t spend so much money
We kept the wedding small, we were a total of 35 guests. And still the wedding amounted to around R 2000 per person (which is considered cheap). Gelukkie has this awesome “Elope” special where you pay R 8000 and you can invite 10 guests and they organise the rest for you. Now that everything is over, I would rather have opted for that option, and saved the money for a deposit on our home or something like that. Same with your attire. My mother in law did my nails, I didn’t tan or spray-tan, my shoes was Converse, and that was about that. The Red Chair did my hair and makeup, and it was worth every penny.
Be selective on what you want to spend your money on. And be selective who you invite.
Don’t be afraid to DIY a lot of stuff.
You will always have someone at your wedding you didn’t want there
That’s just the way it is. Ignore it, and enjoy your wedding day.
The day before will be crazy
Our wedding was featured on television, so I had a camera crew with me for a week. They followed me around and asked a million questions. In between all of that I had to pack for the honeymoon, and many other things.
I was calm throughout the whole planning process, until the day before. Everyone needed something from me, and I felt like I couldn’t get anything done, I panicked and shed a few tears. Luckily my amazing Mom and cousin was thereto keep me together. It’s okay to cry. You have a lot on your plate.
I felt a little sad
I felt sad on my wedding day. I couldn’t describe the feeling, because at the same time I was so excited to marry my amazing husband to be. Only a few seconds before my Dad and i walked down the isle, did i realize. I was sad because I had to let him and my Mom go. I had to move away from under their safe wings, into the arms of my husband. And it made me sad. And it’s okay to feel sad.
Because as soon as my Dad lifted my veil and I stood next to my husband, all that sadness went away. Because i knew that my parents would be okay. I knew that I wasn’t losing them. And at that moment I knew that I wanted to let them go, and I wanted to be under the safe care of my new husband.
Take leave a few days before
I still went to work the day before my wedding, and it was a terrible idea, I barely got everything done. So take leave a few days before to make sure that you have enough time to peacefully get everything done and spend time with the family that comes a few days earlier for the wedding.
Family get together
If it;s possible, have a small gathering with the family in the week before the wedding, this gives everyone a chance to meet one another, and you’ll be crazy busy on your wedding day, so this is your chance to mingle with everyone and show your appreciation and love for them being there. I’m so glad we got to do that.
The night before
I’m so lucky for how my night before my wedding turned out, and I highly recommend it for all other brides. My cousin (one of my two bridesmaids) and I spent the night at Gelukkie in their beautiful guesthouse, we drank champagne, ate chocolates and cherries, she painted my toenails and we drank tea and watched The Notebook, yes, we actually watched The Notebook. It made me calm, and distracted me. The next morning my best friend, and maid of honor showed up, we drank mimosas, laughed, ate more chocolates and fruits, and so my day began. It was perfect.
Don’t miss out on your wedding
I hear so many brides say this, and I’m also going to say it. You miss so much of your wedding! You are in such a daze and so busy, and everyone wants a piece of you, that you’ll miss half your wedding. I missed out on our canape’s, the pudding and mingling with a lot of people. I missed out on the music and certain discussions, even though I was there. It goes by SO fast. So take a deep breath every hour and stop. Look around you, see the people, hear the sounds, taste the food. Touch the curtains and the flowers. Hug your family, touch your dress, kiss your husband and take it slow. No one really cares about the schedule, you shouldn’t either.
Don’t forget to acknowledge your new husband
You just got married to the most amazing man, and the day is so crazy and busy. Don’t forget to just stop for a second and hug him, and tell him how happy you are. You are his wife now, make the first moments count. I’m so glad that I was so aware of my husband, I couldn’t let go of his hand, and when he went to the front of the reception to give his speech, I wanted to go with him, because I didn’t want to spend a minute away from him.
We had the most delicious food, but somehow my food jumped out of my plate onto my dress (before our sunset photos). I laughed, and everyone else laughed. Don’t mind the things that will go wrong, because things will go wrong, believe me. I also forgot the champagne at home, so my uncle had to race back home (in a different town) to go get it, and I missed out on taking a photo with him because of it, but it’s okay, because I’ll never forget what he did for me. I also had something in my eye the whole day, so my lashes came off half way through the evening because of it, and in all of our photos I have a leap eye, but we laugh about it, because it’s no biggy.
Your wedding will always be perfect
No matter what, you are getting married to the man of your dreams. You have a whole day dedicated to the union of you and your lover, nothing can possibly go so wrong that anything can ruin the thought of that. Enjoy it my dear, it really only happens once in your life.
There’s so many things I want to tell a bride to be. But I’ll end this off for now. If you want to watch the episode on our wedding, check out this link: