So yesterday I read a piece on how everyone thinks that they should have their life together in their mid twenties, but that we should stopping feeling that way, because there’s no need to rush things.
I completely agree.
When you are 20 and younger, you and everyone you associate yourself with, are going through the exact same life stages, school, puberty, boyfriends, long hair, and selfies. Then you hit your twenties, and suddenly, some of you are studying, some working, some travelling and some nothing-ing.
Some are in a relationship, some are following the reprimand of How to be single, and others are getting married.
Some people admit that they’re gay, other’s cut their hair, some have passed away and don’t forget the one that won the lotto and now lives on his own island in the Bahamas.
No matter where you look around you, scrolling through your Facebook feed, bumping into someone at the local shop, going to a party, or wherever, none of us are at the same stage in our lives. I have friends, my age, married with kids, some of them divorced already, I have friends travelling the world, I have drunk friends I need to go pick up at 02:00 am, I have a business driven friend, reaching all the success we dream of.
The only thing all of us have in common, is that we’re completely clueless. Whatever it is that we are doing since we left school up until now, was the first time any of us was doing it. We have no idea what’s going on, and if the things we’re doing is the right thing. But like the article I read, I too will say, it’s okay to be clueless, it’s okay to have no idea what you’re doing, jumping from one cliff to another, waiting for the big tumble, kind of expecting it.
It’s okay if you take the plunge at some stage if that’s what your course of life does. We’re not going to die from losing money, losing friends or making mistakes, asking anyone else that have done it, you’ll be fine.
So spend another year overseas, or an extra year at uni, spend more time at home, or working at the local cafe’, spend more time reading, shopping, learning, laughing, travelling and living. You’ll be okay.
All of us are on a course of life, some travelling faster but longer courses, other shorter and slower. You can’t compare your life to anyone else. They’re on a different journey than you. Embrace the glorious mess that you are.
Just remember, do the things you want. Not what everyone else wants. Marry young, or travel alone, work hard, or study. It doesn’t matter. This is your time to figure it out.
“Age has given me what I was looking for my entire life – it has given me me. It has provided time and experience and failures and triumphs and time-tested friends who have helped me step into the shape that was waiting for me, I fit into me now.” – Anne Lamott
So embrace life, embrace the fact that sometimes you will push a door that says “pull”, that you will laugh harder when you try to explain why you’re laughing, why you will sometimes cry over small things, make mistakes, have regrets and that sometimes, you won’t only be hurt, but that you too, will hurt someone. It happens, it’s life, and it’s glorious.
So don’t compare your Chapter 1 with someone else’s Chapter 10, follow your own path, write your own story, and finally, don’t judge someone by the chapter you walked in on, you have no idea what they’ve been through to get to where they are.
Now is the time to stay focused and be selfish with your time. It’s a chance to immerse yourself in everything you want to.
“Nothing will ruin your twenties more than thinking you should have your life together.”