When the control-freak kicks in



My husband and I

I’m a marketing manager at B2B firm, and my husband is a businessman, yes, a businessman. A few days ago he dropped the bomb that he would be leaving his 9–5 to start his ‘own thing’. My control-freak kicked in, and I panicked. What about the bills, our plans and goals? And then I realized, he is an individual, with wisdom that has brought him further than I ever could. And, well, we’re only 23, with years ahead of us.

So now is the best time to take these risks. It is only then, that I took a deep breath, and meant it when I told him that I would support whatever he decided.

He has never made a decision without talking to me about it, and I love him for it. When he gets geekishly excited over a pocket knife I smile, because it’s the child in him that reminds me that I shouldn’t pretend to be such a grown up all. the. time.

I’ve always appreciated someone that has the ability to envision something, and despite the irregularities in the success of those visions, still find it possible to believe that their ambitions are on it’s way to a successful life for them.

And that’s why I married this man. I tend to be serious, painfully serious, and he helps me to chill out. (And I believe most husbands fill those shoes, we’re just too busy running around, being grown-ups, to stop, and see what they’re doing in our lives.)

And isn’t that what makes a marriage great? Filling the gaps. Think about it, in business you have various stakeholders, each executing a role, yet, laughing, vigorously shaking their heads and rolling their eyes when asked if they could do Bob’s job in the Finance department, or if they’d like to do Debra’s job in the Admin. Each of them know exactly what they’re good at, how to execute, and add value to the business. Marriage, in my short experience of it, has been exactly the same.

I know what I’m good at, and laugh at the thought of doing anything my husband does so well. I will gladly do the washing, and rinse his gym socks as long as I don’t have to worry about the car debt or life insurance.

I’ve been married for approximately 3 seconds, yes, and so far so (very) good, as long as I keep the mindset that I have NO obligation to be greater than my husband, and nor does he. We’re good at what we’re good at, and we compliment each other by filling the lacking gaps.

I love my husband because he has the ability to laugh at the fact that I drove into a ditch with our new car. And he loves me because, well, ask him. We’re better together than apart, and that’s how it should be.

We fit. And I’m sure you and your husband does too. We weren’t supposed to get along with our husband’s every single time, but we were made to love them, care for them, laugh at them, and enjoy the support they have to, and want to offer.

I love my husband, and I’m lucky that he loves my hothead too. But most of all, he is a partner that helps me run our loving marriage, and I’ll gladly hand Bob’s job to him, and take on Debra’s job in our marriage.

It works, and I should thank my lucky stars that I could find a man that is so eager to do the things I hate, and allows me to do the things I love. So now it’s his chance to do what he loves, be an entrepreneur, and I’ll support him every step, through every turbulence and hick up, and I’ll celebrate the successes with him, and help him, and love him. Always.

Sincerely, the young wife.

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