When I was younger I realised the importance of defining myself. Because it simply, to me, justified a lot of my actions. I changed my definition of myself weekly, sometimes even daily. I scared myself, because even though I was trying so hard to be myself, I was changing everyday, and struggled to really define who I thought I was, but I still knew it was important.
Some people take all their lives to figure out who they are. what they like, what their strengths and weaknesses are. Some people contiously choose not to define themselves, because they do not want to bind themselves to one specific identity. But I am here to tell you that defining yourself creates a type of freedom, it’s like you give yourself permission to act a certain way, like certain things, dress a certain way and leave certain people behind.
Remember that you can reinvent yourself every single day. But now, in this moment, you have to know who you are, and what you want, so you can know exactly what to choose when faced with challenging decisions, and what to say when someone questions your actions.
When you define yourself, you don’t have to compete with anyone, and because you compete with no one, no one can compete with you. You are set apart, different, unique, in your own league and amazing.
The biggest thing about defining yourself, that really challenged me, was admitting what I wasn’t good at, what I didn’t like, that I couldn’t please everyone. I had to admit to myself that i really sucked at a lot of things, that I had to let go of those things, and start focussing on what i’m good at.
Let go of what you suck at, and rather become extremely good at what your good at. Don’t waste a second longer on trying to become better at something you suck at. If you’re a good cook, cook more, if you suck at baking, stop baking, and focus on your other talents. EVERYONE is good at something. People hate doing things they’re not good at, so why would you torture yourself any longer?
Defining yourself isn’t set in stone. You can change your mind as much you like, and try to figure out what you like and what you don’t like. And if you can decide on something, then keep it that way. No flower blooms all year round, so you shouldn’t expect it from yourself either. You can change, go through phases and figure things out. Life is a process, and we’ll never arrive.
Yesterday you were a tomboy, wearing sneakers and ripped jeans, riding a long board and eating burgers. Today, you say namaste to everyone, and do yoga. Tomorrow you wear high heels, build a business and speak properly. And who know s how you might define yourself thereafter. It doesn’t matter. As I grow older, I learn more and more how irrelevant other people’s opinions are. I only care what I think of myself. Do I like who I am today, and if I don’t, why not? And what can I do to change this, so I can like myself more. Because in the end, only your opinion matters when it comes to who you are. Not what your parents, friends, siblings or partner thinks, but YOU, and only you.
Defining yourself simply means this: You accept who you are at any given moment in your life. You accept yourself so completely and wholly, that no one can change what you think of yourself. Defining yourself, means loving yourself, accepting yourself, learning ore about yourself, and developing yourself. No one is you, and that is your power, embrace it, and own who you are.
“A woman who requires no validation from anyone, is the most feared individual in the world.”
Be whoever you want to be, and be damn proud of it.