It’s been a while since I’ve written something, and I apologise. I have a good reason, I believe, for delaying my blogging, of which I will tell you in a little bit.
So as many of you know, my husband and I moved. At first I was very excited to still be a salary earner, and work from a remote location for the same company had been working for in the past months. But the Lord had a different plan for me, as usual. A day after moving to a new town, (read my open letter to my home town here: An open letter to my hometown | A final goodbye) I had a meeting with my boss. After a discussion or 10 I am now officially self-employed, working day in and day out on my very own business, Tweek, (www.tweek.co.za) whose first big client is none other than the company I worked for! (Pretty damn blessed already huh?)
So I am now my own boss, a full blown entrepreneur making it on my own in the big world, and that’s why I’ve been so quiet lately. (And also I’ve had writer’s block – but let’s pretend like that’s not true!)
But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I’m here to talk about the reality check that my friends and I had a few days ago. Over the weekend mutual friends of my husband and I came to visit us, over a glass of wine and life changing hamburgers (yes – LIFE CHANGING FREAKEN BURGERS!); we spoke about our school reunion that was coming up in the following week. (YAY! We’re officially grownups it might seem!)
One of our friends asked: “Where did you think you would be now, if you had to ask the 5-year-younger you?” Then that damn reality check slapped all of us dead straight in the faces like a pap snoek. All of us thought we would be a whole lot further in life than we actually were. We thought we’d earn 6 figure salaries by now, living in big houses, drive fancy cars, be multiple business owners, and many other (which seems ridiculous now)-dreams. Which, obviously, none of us had reached yet. And as a matter of fact, no one we knew our age, had actually reached those goals yet either. Did the whole class of 2011 suck that much? That none of us had reached the top in the past five years yet? Or was there more to it than that?
At first we were disappointed in ourselves, but then he asked: “What advice would you give your younger self now, knowing what you know now?” All of us gave interesting and different answers, but one of the most interesting things to me was this: I would’ve told myself, don’t go get your degree like you did, use that million bucks to start businesses, lose money, learn and grow, if you need to know something, Google it. Whereas one of our friends, that didn’t do his degree right after school, said that he would tell himself to go study for his degree immediately, no questions asked. My husband, that studied after school, but a direction he’ll never use again, said that he too, would tell himself to just start working, and try to find out what it is he loves doing, and then do that. We had vastly different answers, some of them contradicting one another.
What I’m trying to say is that there is no key to success. But the road to success is timely, complicated and unique, it differs for each and every one of us. And our perception of success changes too!
So it’s okey to only be where we are now. Damn, we’re still further than some other people are in their 50’s, and at least all of us are trying to do something.
I want to encourage all of you, and I guess I’m just trying to encourage myself, that being in our twenties is messy, irrespective of the decisions we’ve made in our lives until now. Either way we’ll all be where we are now, growing, learning, making mistakes, loving and achieving things. And that’s more than fine.
I’m embarking on a new journey, with little to zero clue what I’m doing, but I’m excited, and I’m willing and I’m putting in the hours. It’s all or nothing, and I went for all. And if I fail, I’ll try again, I’m only in my twenties, and I’ll have many more reality checks in the next few years. All of us will. So I’m excited for our school reunion, so we can laugh together at the little-big things we have achieved so far, and talk about the amazing things we aim to achieve in the coming five years. So let’s pop that champaign and celebrate life, the messy twenties that gives us daily reality checks of how crazy adulthood really is.