That damn mid-20’s reality check

mid 20s

It’s been a while since I’ve written something, and I apologise. I have a good reason, I believe, for delaying my blogging, of which I will tell you in a little bit.

So as many of you know, my husband and I moved. At first I was very excited to still be a salary earner, and work from a remote location for the same company had been working for in the past months. But the Lord had a different plan for me, as usual. A day after moving to a new town, (read my open letter to my home town here: An open letter to my hometown | A final goodbye) I had a meeting with my boss. After a discussion or 10 I am now officially self-employed, working day in and day out on my very own business, Tweek, (www.tweek.co.za) whose first big client is none other than the company I worked for! (Pretty damn blessed already huh?)

So I am now my own boss, a full blown entrepreneur making it on my own in the big world, and that’s why I’ve been so quiet lately. (And also I’ve had writer’s block – but let’s pretend like that’s not true!)

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I’m here to talk about the reality check that my friends and I had a few days ago. Over the weekend mutual friends of my husband and I came to visit us, over a glass of wine and life changing hamburgers (yes – LIFE CHANGING FREAKEN BURGERS!); we spoke about our school reunion that was coming up in the following week. (YAY! We’re officially grownups it might seem!)

One of our friends asked: “Where did you think you would be now, if you had to ask the 5-year-younger you?” Then that damn reality check slapped all of us dead straight in the faces like a pap snoek. All of us thought we would be a whole lot further in life than we actually were. We thought we’d earn 6 figure salaries by now, living in big houses, drive fancy cars, be multiple business owners, and many other (which seems ridiculous now)-dreams. Which, obviously, none of us had reached yet. And as a matter of fact, no one we knew our age, had actually reached those goals yet either. Did the whole class of 2011 suck that much? That none of us had reached the top in the past five years yet? Or was there more to it than that?

At first we were disappointed in ourselves, but then he asked: “What advice would you give your younger self now, knowing what you know now?” All of us gave interesting and different answers, but one of the most interesting things to me was this: I would’ve told myself, don’t go get your degree like you did, use that million bucks to start businesses, lose money, learn and grow, if you need to know something, Google it. Whereas one of our friends, that didn’t do his degree right after school, said that he would tell himself to go study for his degree immediately, no questions asked. My husband, that studied after school, but a direction he’ll never use again, said that he too, would tell himself to just start working, and try to find out what it is he loves doing, and then do that. We had vastly different answers, some of them contradicting one another.

What I’m trying to say is that there is no key to success. But the road to success is timely, complicated and unique, it differs for each and every one of us. And our perception of success changes too!

So it’s okey to only be where we are now. Damn, we’re still further than some other people are in their 50’s, and at least all of us are trying to do something.

I want to encourage all of you, and I guess I’m just trying to encourage myself, that being in our twenties is messy, irrespective of the decisions we’ve made in our lives until now. Either way we’ll all be where we are now, growing, learning, making mistakes, loving and achieving things. And that’s more than fine.

I’m embarking on a new journey, with little to zero clue what I’m doing, but I’m excited, and I’m willing and I’m putting in the hours. It’s all or nothing, and I went for all. And if I fail, I’ll try again, I’m only in my twenties, and I’ll have many more reality checks in the next few years. All of us will. So I’m excited for our school reunion, so we can laugh together at the little-big things we have achieved so far, and talk about the amazing things we aim to achieve in the coming five years. So let’s pop that champaign and celebrate life, the messy twenties that gives us daily reality checks of how crazy adulthood really is.


 

One thought on “That damn mid-20’s reality check

  1. Going to my first 10 year school reunion was an absolute blast ……. Another reality check for myself, that left me astonished and amazed at the complexity of human beings …… Their personalities, desires, dreams…… How some people never change and stays on the same road, grazing the same grass ……. Like the people they liked before, talk to the same people, not talking to others (which had achieved more than themselves) just because their parents did not fall within the same category……. AND then there are those whom had spread their wings, opened their minds and to my surprise actually knew who I was (as I thought they did not know that I existed as my life was somewhat abnormal) …….. We all had gone our separate ways, but somehow stayed together as a family with growing numbers ……. Everyone’s loved one became our loved one ……… Memories were shared and funny moments recalled (for those with temp memory loss …….. ) ……….. Some old crushes passes by and memories, fleeting though sent my heart a raising for a second or two or three …….. We, as in the open minded group, enjoyed ourselves and wished for the time we spent there never to stop ……… We laughed, remenised, discussed all life’s questions and came up with many answers …….. We were old friends that saw each other the day before an then just started chatting again …….. It was amazing ………. there had been two more reunions thereafter …….. And sadly along the way, some of those wonderouse people, that for a while stopped at my little stream, had gone resting in another place, never to come my way again …….. The time spent in those one, two, three reunions were the best times of my life, but I have come to realize that each day we should creat our own little reunions and not wait for the big ones, as life is bout a second per second ……….

    As part of our Reality Checks we came to realize that when we were young we dreamt about things we could buy, achieve and become (when we were younger) …….. As we grew older we dreamt about who we could be, what we could do for others, how we could love, better our innerselves, how we could bring meaning to other people’s lives, how many times we should have laughed and how many times we should have spent crying less, worrying less and knowing that above all else it is only He that is important, that brings peace, joy, love and hope ……….

    However, in my student years the great Gatsby was one of my prescribed books (which of course I did not read, but watched the movie ……. Somehow that is one of my regrets) and one of the morals from the pages that makes up the story……. It was clear that IF WE DO NOT DREAM, THE WHAT IS THE REASON FOR LIVING …….

    Dream high, dream good, take risks, fall and get up, move and keep on moving …….. Don’t graze the same old grass …….. Become a better you, be there for your loved ones, support and love your husband/wife and kids, honor God through all you do ………

    Life is an exciting ride of which you have to plan the way, the reality checks are your watering points, time to ponder, dream and plan ……..

    Enjoy the reunion……. Enjoy life……. Dream and live ……..

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