Why I hated my body

I’m afraid to write this.

Every single girl has some sort of problem with her body, And it’s quite unnecessary actually. In  a society that profits from your self doubt, liking your body is a rebellious act.  It’s time for us to reclaim our bodies.

My whole life I was called out on my weight, people questioned if I was anorexic, they would insult me by saying things like “You look like a skeleton”, “You are so small, you’ll break if you fall” or “Wow, you look anorexic”. Somehow people think that these are acceptable things to say to someone.

Society is fooled by media, thinking that they shouldn’t dare tell someone they’re fat, but it’s completely acceptable to tell someone they’re too thin.

What if I went to an overweight girl and said: “Wow! You are so big! The Earth will shake if you fall!” I will be scolded and put in my place, ridiculed by society, yet when someone said the opposite of my anorexic body, they would laugh agreeably. (I definitely wasn’t anorexic by the way.)

The most unfair part of it, is that I can’t do anything about my weight. I love eating, I eat more than most men. I can’t gain weight. So I am criticized on something I have no control over, yet an overweight person often (not always) has the ability to lose weight with the right diet and exercise. But don’t anyone dare comment on it.

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They called me anorexic

I use to be self conscious because of my weight, I didn’t wanted to wear swimsuits or tight jeans as people would continuously comment on my weight. I refused to go to the beach or the pool. I hated my body, I envied girl with curves and bust.

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Me before CrossFit

And then one day, my mom and I had a talk about all of this, and she said, make your body your friend, you’ll never be ashamed of your best friend, no matter what she looks like. It was a game changer for me.

 

I slowly started to accept my body. But I was serious about gaining some weight too and building muscle. And in 2015 I discovered CrossFit. It changed everything, I started eating better, following a low carb high protein diet and training harder, and I gained 6 kg in 3 weeks, pure muscle (and some fat too!). A lot changed for me then.

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Jan 2016

I no longer label myself with the comments people make about my body.

People will still comment on how thin I am, but I am not phased by it. But one thing is certain. I will never comment on someone’s weight, no matter how fat or how thin they are. It’s not my place to judge them, and neither is it yours.

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